Story inspired by king Edgar of England by Christine

EDGAR THE PEACEFUL:

Or, How to Rule a Country Without Actually Getting Crowned for 14 Years and Making Other Kings Row Your Boat

Chapter 1: The Family Business

Before Edgar could even think about being king, he had to live in the shadow of his ancestors. First, there was Grandpa Alfred, who famously spent his time hiding in swamps and burning cakes while fending off the Danish. Then came Edgar's uncle, Athelstan (924–939). Athelstan was the ultimate overachiever. He took the family business and expanded it, becoming the first true King of England. He was so bossy that he beat a combined army of Scots, Vikings, and Picts at the Battle of Brunanburh in 937, a battle so epic that people are still writing books about it. (He was the undisputed, undisputed overlord of Britain, okay?).

Chapter 2: My Brother, the Party Animal

Then, the throne passed to Edgar’s older brother, Edwy (Eadwig). Edwy was, to put it mildly, a bit of a disaster.

Edwy had a major PR problem. At his own coronation banquet—where he was supposed to be shaking hands and eating roast swan with the nobility—he snuck off. Why? Because he was "wickedly enticing" two women (a mother and a daughter, no less!) to hang out with him. According to the text, he "wallowed between the two of them in evil fashion."

Enter the ultimate buzzkill: Dunstan (the Bishop of Worcester, and later Archbishop of Canterbury). Dunstan, a man who probably slept in a hairshirt and frowned for fun, tracked Edwy down, aggressively pulled him out of the room, and dragged him back to his own party by the ear.

Edwy was furious. Because he was king, he immediately exiled Dunstan to Flanders.

Chapter 3: The Introvert Takes Over

This is where Edgar steps in. The text notes he was "a very different man" from his brother. While Edwy was causing scandals, Edgar was playing the long game.

Edgar looked around, realized his brother was a trainwreck, and basically just took over the country. But Edgar had a weird quirk: he didn't want to be officially crowned. He waited a remarkable 14 years to actually put a crown on his head. Why? Maybe he was waiting for the right lighting. Maybe he had imposter syndrome. Or maybe, like a true Machiavellian genius, he just wanted to see if he could run the whole country without the official paperwork.

Chapter 4: The Scandalous Rebound

Remember those two women Edwy snuck off with at his coronation? Edgar, being a master troll, married the younger of the two women. He essentially stole his older brother’s controversial girlfriend, made her his Queen, and secured the ultimate sibling power move.

Chapter 5: The Grand Flex

Edgar was actually a fantastic administrator. He founded the English Civil Service (making clerks do all the boring paperwork), unified the kingdom, and built a massive navy just to flex on the Vikings.

But Edgar’s greatest moment came in 973 (the year written on your notes!). After 14 long years, he finally decided it was time for the ultimate coronation at Bath. To prove he was the absolute boss of the British Isles, Edgar invited all the kings of Scotland, Wales, and the Isle of Man to his party.

He didn't just ask them to show up, though. According to the text, Edgar made eight kings get into a boat on the River Dee. He sat in the front, steering the rudder, while the Kings of Scotland (like Kenneth II) and Wales physically rowed him down the river.

Imagine the scene: The King of Scots, sweating through his royal robes, pulling an oar, while Edgar sits in the back, pointing at ducks and saying, "Faster, lads, I want to see if we can beat the current!"

Epilogue

Edgar died in October 959 (according to the margin note, though the text confusingly mentions his coronation was in 973—history is messy!). He left behind a unified, peaceful England, a strong navy, a foundation for the civil service, and a legacy of making other kings do his cardio.

He was a very different man from his brother, indeed.